The following is a recap of the interview written by Heath Stocks

For those that miss the interview I'll try to give you an overview, but as I said we talked for a while. As for the abuse part, I went back through my experiences, what I felt going through it and what had left me open to the abuse. I wanted to say something that would help and for me the biggest thing we can do to protect kids is make it clear the importance of the parents having a close relationship with their children. I tried to cover a different approach this time in that I wanted parents to see their greatest enemy with their kids is the idea of what their child needs.

Every parent wants to provide for their children and give them all they can, but when you work all the time and have not time with them lots of needs are neglected. The kids may not even realize it, but nothing can help a child more than time with their family. Not just anything will do, no, and I'm well aware that parenting isn't easy to say the least. But, you have to think about it in terms of what kids really need and what will prepare them to go into the world. Parents plan to make kids and then spend the rest of the time looking towards college, giving them all these materialistic things and overlook so much. Parents are so careful not to cuss because kids will pick it up, have to watch what they see on TV or play on games and sometimes don't take the time to focus on character development and identity. What I mean by that is give them morals and values, teach them what love is and isn't. Make sure they know you love them and are proud of them and you see what they are good at and what makes them unique. To take it one step further, parents have to be an example of what they say and not just give it lip service. If parents always fight when they are together, never show any love or intimacy towards each other, always work and push for more, what example does it give? If you have a troubled marriage kids know it because it affects them and they see other kids parents and how they act. If you wonder what this has to do with abuse, then this message probably has more to do with you than not. Because abuse starts from inside before it goes outside the child's little world. The house can either provide the child with tools to survive or leave them open to so much hurt simply because they have nothing to go by. Think about it, seriously, do you feel you are an example for your kids so they can take a confident step into the world or do they do so lost and fearful? You set the stage for their future relationships by the way you treat and express your love for each other - how they view money and its place in the importance of things and possessions - how they react to problems or express their emotions or don't. The list goes on and on.

Sure, we all make mistakes because we are human and not all marriages make it. You owe it to your kids to do your best and to realize when you chose to create a life you need to be able to give that child what it needs. Not just to survive, no, to be happy, confident, loving, caring, to know what it means to give and to receive, to know who they are and be proud, the ability to express their emotions and talk about them. These are challenges every parent faces, yes, and there is no easy answer. Learning how to be better parents will minimize the mistakes. People study years of college to train for a job, so my question is what greater job than parenthood? Does it not deserve taking the time to read all you can, talk to other adults to learn from others, take part in classes that help you to grow? You are going to be mimicked and watched, so what do your kids see? Do you live by your own words or stumble through life not knowing the same things you kids need to?

As you know I went through the PAL program here and even taught a class as a group leader. I think lots of men could benefit from the Quest for Authentic Manhood program. If nothing else it can help you be a better Dad and show you just how important a parents role really is and what your mistakes can do. My point is the more whole you are and the less baggage you have inside, then the better husband/wife you can be and in turn be a better parent. Your kids deserve the best and the best has nothing to do with what they wear or have. The best has everything to do with their development emotionally and mentally. Lots of parents work and must but you have to make time with your kids and know them like no other. Sure you can involve them in groups, sports and lots of things that help develop character and build confidence. Even then nothing means as much to a child as their parents being proud, praising and cheering for them. But, just involving them can only help so much, without your direct involvement you've placed your child's development in the hands of others. Will they give your child what you want to yet don't have time to? See where I am going here? If you aren't going to be the example to grow by someone will, and they will influence the development of that child.

My parents loved me and wanted me involved in sports, clubs, scouts and I was good at lots of stuff. My Dad worked constantly and what little time he was home I was being punished for something I did while he was gone. The discipline was needed, but the timing and extent of it was inappropriate. What about the rest? My parents trusted Jack Walls to help them do what they had no time to do. I had no confidence. I had no idea what love was. I had no identity and no example or tools to step into life with. I was yearning to feel loved and worthy of praise and incredibly confused. Jack made time to know my needs, wants, feelings and then he became the influence. He made time to learn enough about me so he could use what was missing to his advantage. He identified my emotional needs and became the source of those needs. He didn't do this to be a parent or develop me, he did them to break, use, confuse and lead me down a path to destruction. If you don't make time for your children, someone will.

I was asked what parents can look for or to name some symptoms of abuse. If you spend 15 minutes a day with your kids, how can you know what is normal for them? Are they a hormonal teenager or being abused? Have you spend time with them to know? Do you listen to what they say and how they feel and who plays a role in their life? I ask you to look inside yourself and your family and make changes where they are needed. Really think about what your kids need.

I also talked about what I would tell a child being abused who is in the place where I was. My best answer can only be to TELL SOMEONE! Talk and talk until someone listens and scream if need be until you are listened to. With the internet today people have a way to search out help and do it in a private way that may give them confidence. You must realize you can't give up and just accept what is happening to you. No one deserves to be abused, it's not your fault and if you don't stop them they will have the opportunity to hurt someone else. Me, I told my parents I didn't want to be in the scouts anymore or around Jack. That got translated into me wanting to quit and probably them thinking that he had to be doing something right. So, really listen to you kids and hear what they say, because what a child says may not be as blunt as you come to expect from dealing with adults. Kids can't think on your level and don't have the confidence to talk about some things, so don't expect them to step up to you and make you listen. If you don't make time to listen to their problems and be there, do you think a child will feel they will be supported when something like abuse happens? I know none of this is easy to accept but as wide spread as abuse is today, the time for ignoring the truth of why it happens is over. Just remember that neglect is abuse too and if you don't make time for your child you are neglecting them.

I was asked about where I am in applying for clemency. I'm pretty sure that I've told everyone already that I am doing the clemency application myself, with the help of close friends. Right now I am currently working on gathering up paperwork and letters to support the application.

I was asked where I am as a person and how I deal with my family's deaths. As you can imagine, some of that was hard to express. I know my family has forgiven me, but it's always easier to have others forgive you than to forgive yourself. Some days are easier than others, yes, but there are days when it is a burden that leaves my emotions raw and I hurt to my core. I talked about the progress my family and I have made over the years. How I went from being selfish to being able to see everyone's pain and how we could heal once I recognized how immature I was. I was a child emotionally even at 20 and it just took me years to grow and mature. It was then that I realized the loss was far greater than my own.

I said I felt an obligation after the pain and loss I had caused to make a difference and try to make sure others don't go through what we did. I even talked about how important the relationships I have had with women over the years helped me to mature. I learned what love is and what it isn't. I had to learn on my own what Jack so confused me about. I was even asked about my marriage since I've been in here. While it won't be talked about since it is now over, I took time to say how important it was to me. I had trust issues and wasn't even as emotionally secure as I need to be to be a good husband. I didn't have any real idea what a healthy marriage should be. I also said I had been selfish to want to be married. I wanted it so badly and needed to be loved so deeply that I gave no thought to the struggle it would cause us both. In the end I had be honest with myself. A relationship takes work and communication, and even out there it can fail. I am thankful for what Nicole (my ex-wife) and I had - what I was able to learn, share and experience. I now know it is a lot easier said than done.

I was asked if I had a picture of my family and I explained that I didn't because it was too painful. I miss them daily. I miss them when I see a woman on visit here telling her son she loves him. I miss them when I hear some guy talk about Mom, Dad or a sister. I miss them when I see a movie with a family happy and together. There is a hole inside of me and a loss I can never fill. Plus, I've had people here be rude and make comments so I don't need a picture to remember what I hear daily as a loss I created.

As you will recall I was in the PAL program as a group leader. There is a few reason's why I'm not anymore. The main reason is people in my group were taking what I would say to help others and use it for gossip. They even commented on the "old belief" that since I let it go on so long that I had to like it, that I must be weak, that I must be gay and so on. I even had people I talked to on a daily basis avoid me because they felt I was weak and they no longer wanted anything to do with me. I mention this mainly because I didn't want anyone to think that I just quit the PAL program. I do want you to understand that I'm not living in the same world that you are.

I say all this so the people that are parents and feel frustrated by what I've said don't take offense. I don't have all the answers and even though I've learned a lot over the years, I still make mistakes. I just want to do my part and help where I can. When I can help others it helps me deal with my loss and may prevent others from experiencing the same things. I may have left some things out, but now you know the majority of the interview.

For more information on the "Quest For Authentic Manhood" curriculum and other programs by Dr. Robert M. Lewis, visit www.mensfraternity.com.